LiVInGteDrEaM

2011-01-21T18:59:00.000-08:00

나는 그립을 잃고 있다. 나는 그것을 보통으로 말하 하기로 하는가? 나는 진다 그것. 나는 무엇을 더 이상 생각하기 위하여 모른다. 그것은 돌아오고 있다. 배설물. 그것은 누군가 그러나 나 자신 는 아니고 옆에 구멍은을 통해서 저 바르게 찔렸다 처럼 같이 있다. 살해 저이다. 그리고 모든 그 사람들은 회의를 위해 와 당신이?" 이지 않는지 왜 이다, "를 생각할 수 있다 그것은 보통 명백하가 아니다. 나는 할 수 있지 않았다. 이 국가에서 아닙니다. 어떤 가능한 순간든지에, 저 내의 나락은 해방할 것입니다 곳에. 다만 Hyde 같이. 이런 이유로 나는 긴 휴일을 좋아하지 않는다. 그것은 저를 안쪽으로 죽인다.

2011-01-19T06:02:00.000-08:00

Hey there people, I'm just spending a bit more time on tumblr now- thw land of nice pictures ;)

2011-01-19T05:49:00.001-08:00

2011-01-16T06:45:00.000-08:00

2011-01-11T05:35:00.000-08:00

血まみれの地獄。私がこの立場にいることに決めるかのように。私がいつか決めるかのように、私の涙は落ちるでしょう。私が待つことを望むかのように。そして彼女はあたかもそこ（に・で）終末に小言を言いません。そしてあなたは私がなぜこの家から出て行って、そしてはるか遠くに、遠くに、行くのを待つことができないかと思います。私はそれが嫌いです。私は彼女を憎みます。私はすべてが嫌いです。もし親であることがすべて生き残るあなたの子供の能力と能力を過小評価することに関わりがあるなら、私の生活に歓迎します。私の生涯で、人々が常に私を過小評価します。私の生涯で、あなたは敬意のために戦わなければなりません、あなたが身につけることからあなたが行くことができるところまで、あなた自身の一片の知性のために戦います。排便してください。その中に皆そしてすべてが嫌いであることについて話してください。そしてあなたは私がなぜ絶望的に UK に申し込んだかと思います。失敗した試み？いいえ。むなしくではなく。私は私の決定がうれしいです。私は条件付きの申し出を受け入れて、私自身のために奨学金を手に入れて、そして最も重要なことに、ここから私自身を救出することを計画します。それは私の計画と何かの推測です、誰も私が、私の親さえではなく、それをするのを阻止することができません。これらすべてプラスさらにいっそういらいらさせる兄弟のかたちで来る付加的な要因。彼らのすべてをだましてください。時々私はそれが本当であるかどうかと思います。私が全部の白人の一団の間でただ後方の羊に過ぎないかもしれないこと。まあ、もし私が異なっているように定められているなら、それから、私は嫌だと思いません。私は異なるでしょう。私は成功する（の・もの・人）でしょう。私を見つめてください、なぜなら私はブレークされるかもしれません、しかし私は破れた作品を拾い上げて、そして前進するでしょうから。私は見込みを上回るでしょう。

2011-01-07T00:26:00.001-08:00

Being Famous.

Connotations that we want to see:

Glamorous

Rich

Scandalous

Connotations we often forget about:

These famous, beyond our reach icons are humans

Sometimes, things can really go out of hand for them

An example you ask?

Let's see, TaeMin from Shinee. Well, I just found out that he got bullied in school for being too popular. Really, flaws of human nature indeed. Girls who worship idols trying so desperately to attract their attention and guys with their overwhelming ego (upon finding it being in jeapordy because of the presence of someone famous) decides to bully him. Really, I am thankful that we all have some blessed qualities to prevent us from breaking, or shattering to pieces. Yup, my votes for the poor boy (mind you, he is after all younger than me) - for continuing to preserve through thick and thin. He's still preserving in his career.Here's a clip of how good a dance he is. Regradless, cheers people- one year has ended, and a new year begins :)

2011-01-03T22:41:00.001-08:00

they're back, and awesome!

Reminder

2010-12-26T08:05:00.000-08:00

'Everything you're ashamed of,

All the parts of yourself that you keep secret,

Everything you want to change about yourself,

It's who you are.

That's your power.

Deny it , and you're nothing.

And you'll never be much of an actor.'

Hey there, would you be my guide?

I'm sorry I've been denying you

Can we start over again?

Dear destiny, I'm ready now.

what makes christmas

2010-12-25T04:59:00.000-08:00

'raindeers'

'gingerbreadman'

'food/candies'

2010-12-22T19:43:00.001-08:00

2010-12-17T19:21:00.000-08:00

A run through of 2010

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did, I did

And you were strong and I was not
My illusion, my mistake
I was careless, I forgot
I did

And now when all is done
There is nothing to say
You have gone and so effortlessly
You have won
You can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof top
Write it on the sky love
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

Did you ever?

Loose yourself to get what you want

Did you ever?

Get on a ride and wanna get off

Did you ever?

Push away the ones you should've held close
Did you ever let go?
Did you ever not know?

Did you ever?

Doubt your dream will ever come true

Did you ever?

Blame the world and never blame you

********************************************************************************

******************************************************************

****************************************************

final note of 2010

****************************************

Have you let go of everything that is holding you back?

If you haven't, it's about time you should.

2010-12-13T02:14:00.000-08:00

Seriously, how long can we have that mentality?

I've got a question

Yes, it's for all of you who are reading this post.

Well then. let's get to the point ,shall we?

What is your ambition?

Are you now experiencing one of the following symptoms:

-wobbly

-smiles but saying kindly, 'Let's talk about something else, shall we?'

oh, I want to grow up to be ......

Well there are so many job options, aren't there

although the crazy dreams we had when we were children just don't fit into the jobs available in this cold harsh reality.

So, how do we know what we want to do?

I find that very true

but then, there is always the usual scenario where parents disagree, teen rebels

etc

Hey, but that's life isn't it

fighting for what you want to be

not become who you are suppose to be

all the world's a stage, and all the people in it are merely actors

more tumblr moments

2010-12-09T21:08:00.001-08:00

2010-12-09T20:56:00.000-08:00

but then again,

after succumbing in and out of depression

sooner or later

I'll find the will to keep moving forward

because someday

I'll learn something new along the way

that will heal those wounds

This is something I'd like to share to all ;)

2010-12-08T21:23:00.000-08:00

Anger.

Like a lurking shadow

- it silently manipulates us ,

gently torturing us ,

who are

Fragile,

Weak

human beings

into doing and saying things that we never imagine .

To summarize it all in a few words, we expose our true nature by decorating the front covers of the newspaper- with never-ending headlines of wars, conflict and suffering.

The real question is, who is the one who is actually suffering?

The victims of the war?

The ones who started it?

All because of a simple misunderstanding

that

provokes

ANGER

2010-12-01T03:45:00.000-08:00

it just struck me

life is similar to Sudoku

How?

Well, life is as complicated as the constant puzzles Sudoku places before us

However, we are equally gifted with the same degree of complexity in thinking to combat the problem before us.

Peculiar, isn't it?

2010-11-30T18:52:00.001-08:00

next time if someone tells you, how impossible your dreams are

don't walk away with a defeated face

instead

stare them right in the eye, smile and say

'I can. I must and I will. I'll prove you wrong. '

Then walk away, except this time, they'll be the ones left in shame.

So, let's conquer the world together

muahaha

2010-11-29T01:10:00.000-08:00

where did all the random pieces I wrote went to?

It's here, at

http://behindthemask-realitycheck.blogspot.com/

enjoy

2010-11-28T04:42:00.001-08:00

http://behindthemask-realitycheck.blogspot.com/

random

2010-11-23T04:10:00.000-08:00

2010-11-22T03:21:00.000-08:00

I guess its just time for a new look

for the blog

for myself

for my own comfort

2010-11-21T01:20:00.000-08:00

2010-11-19T22:18:00.000-08:00

As one chapter ends

Another tale begins

Just like life itself

No matter how many times we fall

No matter how painful and forbidding those memories and failures are

We have to keep moving forward

Even while walking in pain, just move on

And someday, you will definitely succeed

my random moments of inspiration

2010-11-14T05:51:00.000-08:00

http://behindthemask-realitycheck.blogspot.com/

2010-11-14T00:02:00.001-08:00

Wouldn't it be so cool if we could just throw everything we have now

seemingly useless positions we hold in clubs (I'm feeling it more and more now)

stupid piles of homework that seeks our attention just like a crybaby every single night

then theres thinking about the future

wouldn't it be so cool if we could just take a month or two to just travel and clear our thoughts

"But is it such a bad thing to live like this for just a little while? Just for a few months of one's life, is it so awful to...nap in a garden, in a patch of sunlight, in the middle of the day, right next to your favorite fountain? And then to do it again the next day?"

from 'Eat,Pray,Love'

sometimes when the stress gets too overwhelming

it's just suffocating

so is getting not s good grades

the red marks practically dashed and shattered whatever ambitions I had in mind

Instantaneously

Mercilessly

Then, after a day or two

things slowly register in my head

scattered thoughts and broken emotions are plastered back into pieces

true, the heart becomes whole again

though the scars remain visible to the owner

but

that momentarily glimpse of darkness is not going to change my decision to get back up

and fight back

hell ya, watch me, I'll beat the crap out of you in the exam

"I am stronger than Depression and braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me."

from 'Eat,Pray,Love'

The race against expectation within limited amount of time is so darn annoying

some people expect you to dedicate your night in college figuring out some 'plans 'for next semester', I mean, come on, why not just do it during normal meetings or after school hours.

Oh they tell you why

"Because it's just the way its SUPPOSED to be"

I freaking hate that sentence

I just want to glare back and say

" Well guess what, traditions are meant to be broken. If everybody has your kind of mindset, stoning to death would still be a legal punishment"

Seriously, and when you tell them you can't freaking sleepover , they give you the freaking look of, 'Are you kidding me'

Seriously.

As if, I have nothing else better to do

As if, the decision was made by me

As if, it would be the end of the world if you do not plan

''When you're lost in those woods, it sometimes takes you a while to realize that you are lost. For the longest time, you can convince yourself that you've just wandered off the path, that you'll find your way back to the trailhead any moment now. Then night falls again and again, and you still have no idea where you are, and its time to admit that you have bewildered yourself so far off the path that you dont even know from which direction the sun rises anymore."

from 'Eat,Pray,Love'

"So now I have started living my own life. Imperfect and clumsy as it may look, it is resembling me now, thoroughly."

I gotta get that book

GLEE-ful moments

2010-11-05T07:02:00.000-07:00

2010-11-05T06:15:00.000-07:00

Thats how I feel right now

An explosive combination of rage and confusion

Twitter is alright

Life is so not.

All the world's a stage, and all the people in it are merely actors

Hmm, maybe...maybe not

Who cares

2010-11-03T07:22:00.001-07:00

Me loving tweeter

It literally cured my writer's block

2010-11-02T01:54:00.000-07:00

just finish internal exams

horray

or so I thought

i'm serious actually

i was looking at the things i need to do

and well

at least I have a goal

well having a visible goal gives me a direction

it gives me hope

and strength to move forward

be strong

so I've decided

whatever I'm gonna learn from now on

I'll just do my best to enjoy it

after all learning was meant to be fun

even if that part was long forgotten

now, this song is a bit morbid

but it reminds me that we should make the most of life

(shoots, am hungry again - tatas )

tumblr moments

2010-10-23T21:30:00.000-07:00

2010-10-23T21:16:00.000-07:00

fine, maybe not all the Shinee members are that nerdy

at least not this guy

but still, the one person that defines the word handsome is still definately this guy!

Btw, he even appered in an mv!

2010-10-22T05:24:00.000-07:00

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

Whenever you feel stressed out

Stop whatever you are doing

Call a few friends

Go out and do crazy fun healthy stuff

You could go for rollerblading, jog and chat, gossip

you could even dance in the rain

that is beautiful

Just take a break

pause

and breathe

and most importantly laugh and have fun

sooner or later your thinking becomes much clearer and you'll find a way to solve the problem

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you'll never live it twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

I'm into health food now

I'll be eating more cereals, yogurts and apples from now on

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

Only when you're sick will you remember the times you take for granted when you're healthy

I find this very true actually because throughout this period when I'm really sick I come to understand how sickness can change one's perception of life itself, because you don't know what is going to happen next. Are you going to make it through? What's next? Is this the end/ OR just the begining . For me, it is the begining of life with a new perception of health.

2010-10-09T07:18:00.000-07:00

the worst things about PMS

1)-it makes you look at life from a darker, harsher perspective-

2)-in makes one remember the past, going back over and over again to that very moment when it all happen, reliving each memory you tries so hard to hide-

3) -it definitely stirs up emotions to their peak especially anger

and sorrow-

4) you just don't want to do anything at all

my thoughts, like everything else....is scattered.....

2010-10-07T07:58:00.000-07:00

as time pass, we will have to learn to leave behind all our childish, innocent, carefree nature

when the time comes

'Can you let go?'

Will you be able to say goodbye without looking back?

Will you be able to wave goodbye with a smile on your face instead of tears?

Can you?

Do you dare to ?

Life as we know it

was never a bed full of roses

despite the myth that the grass is greener on the other side

Maybe a few years from now

all these memories will ring a bell in our ears

Maybe a few years from now

all will fade away

Who knows?

Until then

leave me be

to take the road less travelled

Leave me be

to heal these wounds

Maybe someday, it will.

Just maybe.

2010-10-05T07:04:00.000-07:00

Today, I made a decision.

That decision was to stand up to life and not take its crap anymore.

(PS: I chose this picture because the autumn leaves represent the crap from the past)

I couldn't be more excited.

(now that the girl is sitting on the bench away from the leaves, she's free from the burden)

I know what it's like to feel like you have no one in this world who cares about you.

I'd like for everyone too feel as though they do. So, as being the first, I'd like to introduce myself.

Hi, I'm a random stranger. And I care.

September 10 was World Suicide Prevention Day.

Whoever you are, please don't do it. I love you.

You are here for a reason. The world needs you.

2010-10-01T20:45:00.000-07:00

time to get serious

its true that sometimes what people say can leave a scar so deep that it still hurts after so many years. but, you have two choices. Either you pull yourself together, move forward and make your stand in the word or would you prefer to just stay where you are, and watch everyone else walk pass you. I choose to move on, to keep walking forward. Even though some scars will take a lifetime to heal, like hell will i give up and bow down to those hypocrites with their cynical remarks. Just wait and see, in ten years time, who will be laughing at who.

2010-10-01T20:16:00.000-07:00

Keep convincing yourself that everything will be fine for a gazillion times and see if it works

I bet that by the end of it, you'll feel so sick of that phrase that you won't ever want to hear it again

=End=

2010-09-28T05:13:00.000-07:00

2010-09-26T03:45:00.000-07:00

Last Friday I was feeling so heavy, with so many things to do, so burderned - suffocating, literally. I wanted to cry, to just be angry, be frustrated and to tell someone. I don't really believe in sharing my problems with other people because, as much as they can be there to listen for you. Well, that is all they can do. The rest is just up to us, the one drowning in our problems to come up with the solution.

'It's our life, our own problems, our own fear to conquer"

At least, that was the way I saw it. Leadership. Well, all there while I though being a leader was just about delegating tasks and all. Well, at least that was what I thought. High Praise is coming up. I'm leading the deco team. Well, I started feeling the stress last friday. I was so worried, so afraid that I might be unable to lead them, to be unabe to work problems out, and of the countless possiblities that I might fail , fail to lead, fail to do this and that. I was so burdered.

'Great leaders are produced through crisis'

That message just struck me, of how I forgot, or how could I just possibly have forgotten that God is always there beside us, whether we realise it or not. Well, I found this when I googled 'Leadership quotes from the bible'

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go, I will
counsel you and watch over you.
- Psalm 32:8

Have I not commanded thee? Be strong and of good courage;
be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed; for the Lord thy
God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.
- Joshua 1:

If you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, you will say to your
mountain, "MOVE!" and it WILL move... and NOTHING will be
impossible for YOU!
- Matthew 17:20

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord and has made the
Lord his hope and confidence.
- Jeremiah 17:7

Cast your cares upon the Lord, for he cares about you.
- I Peter 5:7

And why are you anxious about what to wear? Consider the
lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they
spin. And yet I say to you, that even Solomon in all his glory
is not arrayed like one of these.
- Matthew 6:28-29

And finally, last but not least

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world
gives do I give to you.
- John 14:27

My soul finds rest in God alone: My salvation comes from Him.
- Psalms 62:1

2010-09-25T06:59:00.000-07:00

2010-09-23T06:19:00.000-07:00

She, walked passed them with a heavy sigh, pretending not to noticed them. Them. Of how they romantically, drown in each others eyes like there is no tomorrow. Her bedazzling smile, his blush of embarrassment, blending harmoniously, echoed down the hallway. A lovers' lane.

* * * * *

She peeks at him. Him, who is unaware of anything. Ignorant to feelings of hers.

Feelings.So fragile.

But, broken.

Shattered.

In silence, she turns her back against him towards reality. His gaze was fixed upon that magnificent Athena far ahead. With her long silky jet black hair tied into a ponytail neatly. Walking towards him. Passed him. In her spotless white lab coat.

Heartbeats increasing silently.

He reluctantly withdrew his gaze into his Biology textbook.

She carefully stole a glance in his direction.His messy hairdo, his physical triangle frame. Slowly,she turns back.Nonchalantly removing her lab coat, her mind deep in thoughts.

* * * *

She paused. The computer screen lit up in front of her.She clicks open a new paper.

A blank page.

Empty.

So ALONE.

They called it writer's block. But she knew better than them. 'No, it isn't', she hissed.Her hair in disarray, her thoughts in confusion, her heart deep in conflict.Her spirits burdened. [x].

[x].That was what she clicked.

'Screw the essay'

'Screw them all'

'Happy endings are just fairytale materials

and will always remain that way'

END.

2010-09-22T02:23:00.000-07:00

~~and it starts all over again~~

~~can't be helped~~

then again we as humans

fragile and weak

but with God's strength,

we'll be just fine

no love is greater than love for God

2010-09-20T05:21:00.001-07:00

Its time to hit the books again

the exams are coming AGAIN

'Can you stay afloat the stress and expectation when all around you would understand if you fail?'

2010-09-19T03:26:00.000-07:00

If there is one thing I can't stand doing

It is to leave a friend who is suffering alone

It's just like staring into the mirror and seeing my own old broken self all over again

From the days before I've met them, before I came to know Christ

Rebellious (still am , to a certain degree), cold-hearted and doubtful

Seeing another person in the same state as I was makes my heart ache

Well, I have been saved by kind souls in the last two years of high school ;)

Well, I believe it's my turn to help others now

After all, who understands a teenager best than another teenager XP

wish me luck

2010-09-18T03:37:00.000-07:00

this is the english version
it's so touching
C;

2010-09-17T04:17:00.000-07:00

It was the best thing that I ever experience in a long time

In a way, it healed me, spiritually.

I believe in God.

Do you?

Well, it came in the most unexpected way.

On the first night, we had an autocall

I remembered crying so hard

I close my eyes and prayed so hard

I saw this vision

There was a green meadow.But there were two shades of green. One darker and one lighter. At the edge of the border, on the darker green side stood a child. She was peering out looking into the lighter side. In front of her is a being, whose face is covered with light. I may not recognise his face, but I definately know that he is Jesus. He held out his hand towards the child and asked 'Why are you afraid to come over here?'. Then,I open up my eyes. That day, I was certain of two things. First, God is real and despite me, being a sinner, he accepts me for who I am and wants me to rely on him, and let him come into my life. And secondly, I do not ever want this spiritual fire to extinguish in me ,ever again, I finally realise it is not He who abandone me, it is I who abandoned him, all this while, I relied on myself and my strenght, denying that spiritual hunger in me. CF camp was a life changing journey, as short as it was, I enjoyed every moment of it. Thank you so much, friends :)

My random thoughts

2010-09-17T01:24:00.000-07:00

The best of TVXQ

2010-09-15T23:55:00.000-07:00

Wanna know whats the suckiest part?

TVXQ is gone, forever, they are disband!

Sigh!!

Where on earth am I suppose to find another ideal boyband?

The answer? Nope, never will.

TVXq is the best C:

2010-09-15T04:58:00.000-07:00

the mooncake festival is appproaching

i'm excited

i wonder how will the decorations turn out

i can't wait for that day to come

피아노는 피아니스트의 압도 정서로 채워진 악기 이다

나는 1개의 소원이 있다.

당신은 저를 나의 생일에 피아노를 가진 저 노래 할는가 것입니다?

soon we will all be walking our separate paths

soon it would be time to say goodbye

now ,come to think of it, I don't want November to come

I know that all good things must come to an end,and gradually, college is proving me that.I took them for granted, I thought we'd have forever.And now him I'll never see again.Her, I'll watch with whatever I have left.I know that all good things must come to an end,but blind faith hasn't killed me yet.I know that all good things must come to an end,but I don't expect new good things to stop coming either.So this is life.Take it if you want to,break it if you must,and fall in love all over again.Maybe I'm naive,but until you give me a reason,I won't stop believing.And you can call me journey, baby.

(in courtesy of Jamin)

Someday when I stop Loving you

2010-09-14T03:55:00.000-07:00

Smile, even when you're breaking inside

그것은 재미있는 것을 생각하게 찌르는 기분이 내 가슴에 통증이면 우리가 쓴 ' 친구들의,

그것은 더욱 충격적인 사실을 인정하게 나는, 그렇습니다. 거라고 생각하고 그래도 당신처럼.

나는 질투심을 느끼는 걸 보면 그녀와 함께 있습니다. 당신은 아무런 생각을 얼마나 나는 화가 났습니다. 옮겼고 있습니다. 특히 당신이 그녀와 함께 있습니다

thats the end of whatevers left and done, I guess.

goodbye sick yellow rose who is withering just like everything else

fading into a grey picture

2010-09-08T00:47:00.000-07:00

Firstly,

HAPPT BORTHDAY REBECCA CHAN !!!!!

(this is turquiso right?)

now, there are a few pictures of cakes I've thought of

the first is

an epic failure

*******************************

**********************

**************

*********

****

pretty, but not rebecca-ish enough

********************************************

**************************************

************************

***********

******

next is this

then suddenly I thought of John's conversation of how seahorses are being cooked

so no go

*****************************

************************

****************

***********

********

*****

***

hehehehe

last but not least

Tada!!!

it's not blue turquise, but its so you, the eyes especially

twinkling with laughter and mischief

hehehe

happy birthday girlfriend!!!

2010-09-04T20:26:00.001-07:00

random pictures

2010-09-02T22:39:00.000-07:00

2010-08-31T23:50:00.000-07:00

Did I mention,
I suck at keeping in touch with old friends
Ya,
Its like all of a sudden I don't know what to say to them
I mean, I want to pour out everything
But nothing comes out
Ah well
Decisions decisions
Great, I have no idea how on earth to delet that Cam. application
And my revisions are so dead
Guess its gonna take a miracle for me to survive this time

:)

On second thought
I hate to break it to you
But I'll continue survivng anyway because I'm not done backing down

2010-08-31T18:06:00.000-07:00

There is one kind of person I'm really envious of.

Nope.

It's not people with dashing model-like looks.

Nope.

It's not rich people with all the money and fame in the world.

Nope.

It's not brains. That can be self-acquired.

It's people who can dance.

I like how they dance.

Their movements ever so precise

yet overflowing with emotions

They don't care how hard it is

They just go for it

Dance it all out

I like everything about it

The one thing I regret not learning

Ya, dancing.

I love how Liss and Tze dance so beautifully

Elegance

Yup, that's the word for it

It is an elegent activity.

Gah@@@!!

Step Up 3D!!!!

It's coming out !!!!

2010-08-27T08:18:00.000-07:00

from jia huei's blog.

Emo

2010-08-27T07:41:00.000-07:00

Prison gates won't open up for me

On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'

Oh, I reach for you

Hey Bernice, remember the question you once asked me a few months back, about why I don’t talk to her? Yes, her?
I’ll tell you why.
I’m disgusted.
I’m disgusted by the fact that despite all the crimes she has ‘innocently’, ‘unintentionally’ done
She still has that cheek to tell the same lie over and over again without a sense of guilt
Now I am certain of two things:
1) She is a two face liar in a human disguise
2) I can never befriend someone who refuse to acknowledge her tragic flaws, yes, it is going to be a tragedy in the end. After all, it is definitely going to take her more than just scolding and telling her to snap her out of it.
You know, seven years is enough to use up all those lies under that sleeves, you know.
Seven years is enough on my part to differentiate truth from lies, in fact, there wasn’t much truth in her anyway. All those make believe stories of how she got this leg ankle injury during a marathon and how her leg tissues were torn so bad, she had to go for surgery and could ‘never’ run again, ironically, she can still run and jog so perfectly . All those stories about a non existing brother taking some diploma degree and how he so skillfully hacked into the home computer, which is so ironic because, she is the one and only child which explains so perfectly why her tragic flaw remains, because after all, she is pampered. And you know what’s the worst part? She can even write on her blog that she has a ‘naturally hateble personality, and she don’t know why’. I take that as an indication of how metaphorically blind she is despite having sound clear physical sight.

Well I'm terrified of these four walls

These iron bars can't hold my soul in

All I need is you

Come please I'm callin'

And oh I scream for you

Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

Although there is this one part I have to sadly admit. I wonder, was it my fault that all these took place? Was it because of me, she turn into this monster? If we hadn’t met years back, if we were not taking Kumon in the same centre, or introduced with the hope of being friends, which sadly to my instructor’s disappointment, backfired her? I remember things started to change when I got to the same level as she is for English, Level A, I think. Because all that time, I was doing two levels simultaneously, both of lower level in order to keep up. Within months, I caught up. I refuse, yes, stubbornly (again) I pretended everything was alright, that she is my friend, why would she turn against me. I mean, which human being with a sound, sane mind would even do that- unless you want to get rid of someone of course. But I didn’t see it that far, I brushed it off. The worst hit came in Form 3. She transferred to my school, toy with my friendship with my friends, used me, tell me all kinds of stories of my intructor’s hidden intentions to use me. God, jealousy is undeniably the most poisonous seed of evil, and yes, I hate it all, especially the competition. Comparing yourselves to others. I mean, I don’t mind friendly competitions, but not to an extend where ‘ I have to stop you from getting to a higher level than me, if you do, I will do all I can to destroy you, because you are suppose to be the weak link, you’re my puppet, you have no right to be above me’ idea. And now, she wants to come crawling back , lingering near me, the worst part of all, without an apology or even a sense of guilt. If you call that human, I’m sorry I’m not of the same opinion. I only befriend people I know I can trust, no more no less. And once that trust is lost, it can never be gained back. Ever (due to my stubborn nature), sadly, yes .

[Chorus:]

Show me what it's like

To be the last one standing

And teach me wrong from right

And I'll show you what I can be

Say it for me

Say it to me

And I'll leave this life behind me

Say it if it's worth saving me

I had a dream this evening. It’s a strange one. I was walking with him in WMS canteen towards the basketball field. I think it was in the afternoon, because it was shining very bright as always in the afternoon. I saw my Psychology teacher at one end of the table, giving me that stare of ‘I don’t care’ look. Then the scene changed. I am still walking beside the same person, except, he was wearing a different coloured T-shirt. Then I saw his dad, strange, but I remember recognizing the person as his dad, but I don’t remember when I woke up. All’s a blur. Then, I was walking with my mum and sister, at this pool area? I know one thing for sure, I’ve came across the exact pool design in a previous dream, just don’t know what it was about. Initially, it has a flat surface, we were walking on it. Then it steep up. It got slippery. The funny part was, everyone seem to have no trouble walking up the slippery steep surface, my mum, him and his dad and oh, there were other people, people I don’t know, kids , adults just there playing. I know beside the steep surface, on the left was the stairs, on the right, a pool- it’s like you go into the pool, you sink into it and when you surface, you’ll bounce out and up then you grab the edge of a( wall?) and you cross over to the other side. Okay, back to the scene, I was walking with my mum, as I was walking, I was crying. I heard my own thoughts. I was holding an egg. I crushed it, my thoughts were ‘I’m disgusted by my own sense of helplessness , so weak….’ The egg crack, I threw it away, far away. My mum, stopped and just stared, she said nothing at all. Now back to the pool area. Everyone walked up the stairs beside the steep area. Funny, I chose the pool. I don’t remember sinking, I remember the sensation of being dragged downwards, it wasn’t fear I felt though, but powerless, strengthless to pull myself out, and then I suddenly resurfaced. I woke up.

Heaven's gates won't open up for me

With these broken wings

I'm fallin'

And all I see is you

These city walls ain't got no love for me

I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story

And oh I scream for you

Come please I'm callin'

And all I need from you

Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

I don’t like PMS. Every time it comes, I get emotional, and depressed very easily. And worst of all, I have bad dreams, the past haunts me. I hate it all.

[Chorus]

Hurry I'm fallin'

All I need is you

Come please I'm callin'

And oh, I scream for you

Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

Was watching Eclipse just now. Was crying actually. He resembles Jacob, so much. My mind wondered far, how is he doing? I'm pretty sure he is blissfully in love with his girlfriend. What was I to him? Probably, nothing at all. An insignificant being. Love? Truthfully saying, I don't believe in it, as much as I hope for it. It's impossible. If this was a subject, I would have been the first to flung the exam, with fylng colours. Without a doubt. It only brings pain, envy, fight, and most of all jealousy. I saw her recently, someoen from my college, for some reason, I got pissed off by her with him. Damn, seriously, why did I get all work up, even I don't know. Screw PMS.

[Chorus]

Hurry I'm fallin'

Even when all hope is gone, move along, move along like you always do.

That is all I can do now.

I hope someday, my wounds will heal.

I pray, from the bottom of my heart.

A final note to the pass

2010-08-21T08:44:00.000-07:00

It suddenly struck me when i read her blog

Now i know why i could never be with him

Because you need him more than i do

I pray that she gets well soon

I hope that the both of you will continue to be happy

I won't look back searching for you, not anymore

2010-08-21T07:18:00.001-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONIA!!

YOU'RE THE PRINCESS OF THE DAY !!

Found these on Caron's blog

its really good

just wanna share it

2010-08-21T06:22:00.000-07:00

I feel really awkward sometimes

a moment ago, we were kids with big dreams

now, we're teens, almost young adults in fact still with big dreams

except

we now realise that everything comes with a price

some, require more

With so many obsticles along the road

we sometimes stop and ponder, is it all worth it?

Or when we get a really good result unexpectedly,

the world suddenly feels very strange

people suddenly become different

some who were expected to ace the subject from the begining

has this tone of 'I- couldn't- believe-that- of- all- people- it- is- you-who ace-it-tone'

when they talk to us

it really makes me feel very, very uncomfortable

I mean, I'm happy for what I get

But this, is uncomfortable

Well, I guess I was just sensitive.

Although I have to admint there are some that really were a comfort

they are generally sincere with their congrates

And that idiot had to tease me the entire morning plus night about it

Idiot, but hey, a nice friend I have to admit

talented too, but seriously Julius and Serene, not in that sense!

Then comes the next pile of load that just suddenly

comes 'KAPOOFF' into my life like that

university applications

(the more immediate ones)

-the qualifying exam, yes Pris, in two weeks time

-helping out in Graduation ceremony next saturday

-the many law chapters I have sadly left unrevised

-the literature essays that are yet to be done

-Msian studies project

.....etc.....

that got me worrying if I could pull it through

Yes, I'm afraid, and worried

what if I can't

what if I failed

then whats next?

then I remebered the small little book I borrowed a few weeks ago

'Don't worry about the small stuff'

because everything is a 'small' stuff

pray to the Lord for his wisdom and guidence, take a deep breath and take action

And everything will fall into place

Butterfiles

I don't like them physically

but they are a really nice and strong reminder to me

Metamorphosis

aka

CHANGE

everyday, make an effort to change something

even if it is a minor change

it's positive effects won't go unnoticed

just like a butterfly

eventhough it is just taking honey from flowers for their own survival

but their little act keeps flowers pollinating

We can't

We can't back down (x4)

Not right now

We can't back down

Not right now

We can't back down

Don't close your eyes

We're all in this together

Wherever we draw the line

We're not gonna straddle across it

Or lose it

We can't back down

There's too much at stake

This is serious

Don't walk away

We can't pretend it's not happening

In our own backyard

Our own home plate

(No way)

We've been called out

(We've been called out)

Do you hear your name?

(Yeah)

I'm not confused

Let's win this thing

(Let's do it)

We can't back down

There's too much at stake

Don't walk away, don't walk away,

Don't walk away, yeah

Don't get me wrong

I don't like confrontation

I'd rather we all just get along

Music should be undivided, united

We can't back down

There's too much at stake

This is serious

Don't walk away

We can't pretend it's not happening

In our own backyard

Our own home plate

(No way)

We've been called out

(We've been called out)

Do you hear your name?

(Yeah)

I'm not confused

Let's win this thing

(Let's do it)

We can't back down

There's too much at stake

Don't walk away, don't walk away,

Don't walk away, yeah

We got a situation that we can't ignore'

Cause ignorance is not bliss

We don't have to take this, no

With every big decision

Comes an equally important share of the risk

We gotta take this

We can't back down

There's too much at stake

This is serious

Don't walk away

We can't pretend it's not happening

In our own backyard

Our own home plate

We've been called out

Do you hear your name?

I'm not confused

Let's win this thing

We can't back down

There's too much at stake

Don't walk awayDon't walk away, yeah

We can't back down

Not right now

We can't back down

2010-08-15T03:57:00.000-07:00

today is just one of those days that I can't really smile

2010-08-12T07:30:00.000-07:00

they are wrong

usually, others shatter it

leaving us to put it back into place

as complete as it may seem

the scars are visibe to the eyes

but usually forgotten by all

except for those who own them.

addicted to Owl City

-Meteor Shower-

-If my heart was a house-

do we need a reason to cry?

nope

it just happens

2010-08-09T05:24:00.000-07:00

Can you feel it?

A storm is coimng

Embrace it

..To sleep, per chance to dream..

Adieu

For once, I don't really care where I head for,

take me away to anywhere but here.

they said that eyes are windows to the soul,

or so they thought

2010-08-08T06:59:00.001-07:00

それはそれだけで、結局、常に同じです。にやにや笑います、私は関心を持ちません、少なくとも、私は前に進んでいます。動かなくはありません。振り返りません。そして決して意志ではないです。それはそれが重要であるかのようではありません、そのうえ、私は本当に長い時間感情を後に残しました。幸福はただもう１つの私の記憶の破片に過ぎません、それはかつてそこにありました、それはただ私の幼年時代の他のすべてのように、（今まで）それ以来なくなっていて、なくなっていました。なくなっています。

2010-08-08T06:07:00.000-07:00

I'm disappointed

Like utterly disappointed.

You know if I knew from the begining that I couldn't trust you to do a little design. I wouldn't have even bother tried asking for help, even if it tires me to my limits?I mean, seriously? Is that all you can say? "We should come up with a theme and a colour scheme, so that it wounld'nt be just like the rest of the DEFAULTING, not-so-good looking posters that was made? "

Seriously? That was what it was to you? I don't care if you, YeS, YOU,'partner' even stumbled upon this post, I couldn't freaking care. I'm like pissed off, and disappointed. Do you know that I really put a lot of effort into drawing the posters? Okay, I admit, occasionally i try to find ideas via google and later assimilate some parts of it into the poster with my ideas, and all you ca say is 'defaulting', not so attractive posters? You're right, there might not have been a lot of people who even cared to glance at the poster, in fact, most don't care. But you know what, thats not as bad as hearing your partner tell you that its a lousy picture especially if you tried hard enough. And the worst part is, you just insulted art! ARt! For Christ sake!

I mean, I feel really happy being able to draw a poster, in fact I look forward to drawing it, because I could challege myself beyond my creative limit, and learn. And about the half-half concept, I was just trying to help. Initially when it was one person draw for one week, there were like so many problems. With this concept, I thought at least you won't feel that 'stressed out' doing it on your own. Ou, and the end result was 'defaulting'? Wow, thanks a lot ,partner . Thanks for ruining one of my most look forward moments to go for CF meeting in fact, i don't mind just doing everything myself from now on, after all , to you, its jst another job done to look good in your testimonial. Ya, thats right, your answer as to why you want to be in the CF committee thing is just 'so convincing'. Forget it. You're just like the rest of them, disappointing.

2010-07-26T07:15:00.000-07:00

2010-07-22T07:52:00.000-07:00

second sem starts in the blink of an eye

stress increasing by day

expectations rises higher by the hours

homework....(wrong term).....revision piling up by seconds

and then the clock pauses, momentarily

thats when emotions fly swiftly in

through the keyhole of the locked barrial gates of the heart

a pang of agony scattered

all hope is lost

Adieu

2010-07-22T07:49:00.000-07:00

EMO

2010-06-30T05:23:00.000-07:00

2010-06-20T20:58:00.001-07:00

its a happy day!

I found another band to substitute TVXQ !!

2010-06-20T20:09:00.000-07:00

hehehe

you don't think I'll forget you, BArney/Bernice

:)

one post for manda Lee

and so

here's one for you too

:)

Here's your birthday cake, Bernice

Take a closer look at it

The purple Barney's in the house

Just for you

Happy Birthday!!!

PS:and you better not be absent on the first day of

sd sem, or you won't get your bday present

2010-06-15T07:51:00.000-07:00

HAPPY

BIRTHDAY

DARLING

ADORABLE

*********!!Amanda Lee!!********

and here's a cake for you

this somehow reminds me of you

not that you love cookies

i think its the eyes

okay, not that you roll your eyes to that extend like the cookie monster

ah well, you get the point

something about it reminds me of you, so i thought i'll post it up for you

2010-06-15T07:38:00.000-07:00

見つかった場合がある場合は、

散歩に沿ってビーチサイドモール、

またはでもショッピングには、

手を参照してくださいカップルが保持笑みを浮かべて、

彼らはに各いちゃつく、

見つめて深く他の信じて目をそのオブジェクトと呼ばれる'1つ、

これは特別なものメイク我慢の人生は愛。愛。人実際に礼拝の愛は、

その考えの人を愛している、

または愛され、

それが壊れている至福のアイデアさて？

かどうかなどが失わ用語はない存在）については何の愛を、

上の密度ノート（。 ........シャッタードスカイ.......愛は形で過去の？

それについて何ですか？

これは今、現実だように、それはありませんか？

妖精が存在する唯一のアイデアを幸せの後に並べる物語は...愛が存在する、私はそれを確信している。まあ、...........かどうか。

2010-05-24T08:31:00.000-07:00

well, skirts look pretty

thank goodness i'm a girl

i can choose to be nice and feminine (which happen once a blue moon)

as for the rest of the days

i'm just your typical average style dresser

did i mention

i love hoodies!

driving test went well

just got my P-license today

cheers

i feel old

not age old

but bone old

like WTH

and bone old

o.O

not a very pleasant thing

well, can be helped

since all i do is lie around ad nap

gosh, i sound like a cat

very noctorial

ish, ah well, look at it this way

panda's are bigger and fluffier version of cats

like cats they love naps

as for me, unlike a panda, i'm just only human

guess its time to start jumping and running about

2010-05-18T05:14:00.000-07:00

私は何年も前に覚えています
私が連れて行くべきである私に話された誰か

愛の話になると注意

私はそうしました、私はそうしました

そしてあなたは強かったです、そして私はそうではありませんでした

私の錯覚、私のミス

私は不注意でした、と私は忘れました

私はそうしました

そして今すべてがされるとき

言うべき何もありません

あなたは努力せずに行かれて、そしてそうでした

あなたは勝ちました

あなた容器頑張れ、前方に、（彼・それ）らに話してください

彼らのすべてに私が今知っていると言ってください

屋根からそれを大声で言ってください

空の愛に関してそれを書いてください

我々がしたすべては今なくなっています

（彼・それ）らに私が幸せであったと言いなさい

そして私の心ははり裂けている

私のすべての傷跡は開いている

（彼・それ）らに私がそうであるであろうことを希望したことを話しなさい

不可能な、不可能な

life is made of all those little crazy-bitter-sweet moments

so treasure them, memories

The cypress tree has traditionally represented mourning and grief.

In Greek mythology, it was associated with Hades, god of the underworld

Ancient Roman funerary rites used it extensively.

Cupressus sempervirens is the principal cemetery tree both in the Western and Muslim worlds.

One paper down, two more to go

Not to mention driving exam

>.<

To Joey

2010-05-11T03:33:00.001-07:00

2010-05-09T07:11:00.000-07:00

i'm back!

after centuries of roaming

...from ancient spooky forest...

etc

you get the point

Part 1

the book- hunting process

feels like extraneous exercise!

the supposed- to- be process

which takes a lot of paimful self discipline to be carry out

successfully

..this is because..

...most of the time you just feel like doing this ...

NOTE:

if you plan to study, don't bother counting how many pages you still have to go

to finish the chapter

especially when you just open the book

this is the celebratory process

(which I witnessed in SMKSH in Form 1)

well, it's pretty cool

probably try it after 3rd sem.

well, looks like this is going to be my new holiday "hobby"

from now on

Finally,

did i mention

thanks to joanne and tien un

..i'm addicted to ..

*TVXQ*

just found another TVXQ song

2010-04-28T05:37:00.001-07:00

2010-04-16T20:08:00.000-07:00

well, as you can see

i've been slacking in blogging

gosh, sound so homework-ish

they say dreams are key to the mysteries of the heart

well, my dreams don't make sense at all

*being chase by cupcakes -.-" (who would ever thought there was such a dream)*

*bumping into friends in college that turn out to be takwando fighters who turn into cougars

-,0"(talk about being nuts)*

etc

yup, becky, i've got wild imaginations

well, the good part is, i'm not the only one

cheers

2010-04-13T19:42:00.000-07:00

And you wonder why I like j & k pop

they've got nice songs

real good melodies

2010-04-01T05:09:00.000-07:00

Hold Your Dream

Countless hours of learning more

Countless hours of knowing less

Can't look behind you

You have to look ahead

So many doubts running through your mind

All the excuses

Don't have the time

All the rejection you have to leave behind

Leave it all behind

Hold your dreams

Don't ever let it go

Be yourself

And let the world take notice

You'll find strength

When people bring you down

They will seeI

f you will only, only believe

Someway, Somehow (Yeah, yeah, yeah)

Don't give up now (Don't give up)

Don't be afraid to succeed (to succeed, yeah)

Someway, somehow (Come on, everybody)

The time is right now (It's our time, yeah)

Don't be afraid to succeed (to succeed, yeah!)

Hold your dreams

Don't ever let it go

Be yourself

And let the world take notice

You'll find strength

When people bring you down

They will seeIf you will only, only believe.

HAPPY DAYS restaurant :)

2010-03-19T20:58:00.001-07:00

Kids Carnival 2010 pictures

2010-03-19T20:46:00.000-07:00

2010-03-14T07:55:00.000-07:00

Thursday

C.W sent me a message , thanks pal, it was sort of helpful

Thanks for checking up on me later in the day too

got my results

went to 1U

mood of the day:sucky

Friday

mood of te day: 80%unstable, 10%partially stable,10% feelingless

the artificial Asian ex-wms blonde set me off

such an idiot

just because you're the class repr. doesn't give you the right to abuse your god damn authority

sorry, pals, i made all of you worried

thanks Khai Li and all

Saturday

mood:50%all right, 50% not okay

- I started walking around aimlessly to attract kids to come play at the boothe

- Khai Li's so adorable

Sunday

mood: feelingless

- 3rd lesson of driving

-thanks panda, you made my night with the basket joke

mood:slightly better

~END~

2010-03-10T06:05:00.001-08:00

this is dedicated to a being that has been and always has tried to be me and compete with me

and when she fails, does whatever she could just so she can feel victorious about herself and do some downward comparisons on me for the past 7 years of my life. Look, i know you as you know me. I know you would not willingly admit it in front of me. But anyway, I have a little message for you.

..and neither can I be you. True, I admit, when I first heard of that, I was very, very shocked, sad and angry.My point is, I'm not angry at you, in fact,

I sympathise you

I'm sad because you are still so caught up in this 'competition' that never existed.

I'm sorry for you, who still couldn't quite differentiate right from wrong. What will it take for me to tell you, a person whom i known as a friend, who ironiclly has redefined my definition of 'friends' where only betrayal and lies exist and nothing more. What will it take for you to realise that we are two totally different individuals and that we are unique in our own different ways? You and me and everyone else, we're all born an original- why are you trying to be me? I've been with you for so long, am I just an object of competition, a place for you to throw your hatred on? Am I just a puppet to you? You smile at me, pat my head when we meet ocassionally in college, how long are you going to act in front of me? I rather you just tell me straightforward you hated my existance to the very depths of your heart than to smile in my face and create another set of rumour just to satisfy you to your hearts desire. Your apologies, I don't need, if fact- I don't even expect it of you. Because I know you, who will not admit it.

What I can do for you?

I can't physically.

But I can, pray for you.

Pray for true friendship to blossom

and not be entangled among veils of lies , betrayal and hatred.

so what if I have faults, in fact - who doesn't?

But you know what? Who cares?

I' comfortable with just being who I am.

And nothing and no one can change that fact

Cheeres to life

we watched this movie today

well its a 1985 movie

aside the vulgar use of language

the show is cool

I like it

I found out that I fit two types of personality

I shall rewatch it

soon

i seriously hope that when they say,

"things always turn out the opposite of dreams"

are true

I just had a 5 minute dream/vision of my-going-to-get-results

and it ain't nice

AT ALL

Pris' latest creation

the LAW cupcakes!

omgosh, so pretty!

you rock, girlfriend of mine/ my adoring redefine-cup cake-baker friend!

2010-03-07T06:30:00.000-08:00

my first driving lesson

-the teacher drove me to a residential area

- i learnt the basics

-the car died a lot of times

-then he said, "okay, let's drive back to the main centre now"

any normal human being in a first lesson would interpret that as

he is going to drive us back, guess I was wrong.I was suppose to drive us back, ALIVE!

Well, the fact that i'm blogging here

tells you that I SURVIVED!

On the way back, I forgot to press the clutch

and the car died on the main road

died! just like that

and a few kilometers away, a traffic police stood there

the only thing I remembered saying was

"OMG!!!! OMG!!!!"

repeatedly in my brain

gosh, so not cool.

Day 2

*me driving to the central area for learning how to

drive (the car died at the T-junction of the main road)

-learnt parking (so many procedures!!)

-going up the slope (engine died even more)

-and driving back again

okay, so there's somewhat a bit of progress

but the car engine switching off part has got to go

I dislike manual cars!

Such a nuisance.

I think I prefer being a passanger than a driver
When you're a passenger , you can see the sceneries outside the car or doze off in the car
When you're a driver, ehems, don't even mention it.
It takes a lot of hard work
;)

transformation (in sequence)

2010-03-05T04:07:00.000-08:00

2010-03-04T06:36:00.001-08:00

memories linger near her leaving her restless and uneased

this sounds very familiar, don't you think so?

it's on everybody's mind

it's an undeniable fact

it just come crashing down on you

and poison your mind with fear and doubt

it drives you to the point of annoyance

to an extend that you just wished it never existed at all

...................................................................................................

...........................................................................

.................................................

........................

..........

...

stupid SPM results

i'm so not looking forward to it

i'm not confident

not one bit

I'll go to college

and still be there to take my results

Truth is

I don't want to be near people I know

Because I haven't thought how I would react to my results yet

If its bad

I'm fearful

Would it happen all over again like in primary?

Damn, flashbulb memories

They haunt me day and night

Trying to make me feel guilty

Well, they are succeeding

Bcause

I'm getting more emo as the days pass by

That annoyance just continues to flare in me

gosh, a PMS crisis much?

we got to face it still, don't we

Smile

Just keep up the look

even when your results come crashing down on you

even when you're bleeding on the inside

Just look ahead

and keep smiling

nothing is worst that it

its just grades

focus on the present

detach from the past

and just hang in there

Becca found this on goggle

*cheers*

they are full of sugar

100%

but too cute to eat!

2010-02-26T21:58:00.000-08:00

the much awaited picnic picture

-Taddaa!-

2010-02-26T19:59:00.000-08:00

MY FEB-BULOUS LIFE

well, stremyx failed me for a month

my poor darling computer

died

and was revived

so I shall declare today as a happy day

So, to sum up my Feb-bulous life:

1)CNY in penang

eat and eat and continue eating and play mahjong and nap and eat and sleep and play more mahjong and recieve angpau and eat even more

well, you get the point.

I enjoyed the FOOD

A LOT

In fact, I think I have been eating and tasting and eating t5his entire month

Loving it

PS: will think about exercise routine later ;P

2)Reunion dinner with dad's side of the family

well, that means more foood, actually, let me rephrase that

LOADS of FOOD

food

to end the visit

food

;)

3) Corliss' Open Hose + Meet up with Aunts

well, both events took place on the same day

Let's see

Lissy's place

nice food

actually there's a lot of food

haha

oh, Jamin and Khye Mun came

Jia Wei came too

for only 5 minutes and was gone again

oh, Lissy's HELP friends

Lets see if I remember their names

I think I remember their nicknames better!

-Baby/Princess Harmonica

-A guy in spects

-Er, another guy (indian), was it Eric? Well, he looks like a Eric

anyway

-Hafiz

-er....guy in spects

-er...more guys?

okay

I don't remember their names

but they're all nice and funny people to talk to

PS: Sorry Lissy! I remember the visual(faces) but not the contents (their names)

YEY

So it ended early

like at 6

and I went to my Aunt's house

whichs means I eat more and get more angpaus

4) OB Night

Well, it started out dull

too many speeches

and they deprive us of food until like 9o'clock at night

(thank goodness, earlier in the day, mum stuff me with yummy tuna sandwiches)

my date (aka) girlfriend

Rowee.

was sad

poor her

PS: people I know, don't worry, Rov's fine now :) I texted her this morning

anyway

the dancing and the food made life happy again

for me that is

Joey (a girl) is a real good dance partner

ya, it was cool

I love it

5) Sketch discussion at Pris' Place

we had to do a moral sketch

well, or at least we have to do something that involves team work

so sketch it is!

yum, Pris made choc. cookies

I brought some CNY cookies

We had MCD later in the afternoon

THe best part

the sketch is so cool!

Yes, people, we rock!

2010-02-07T06:34:00.000-08:00

cheers to my beloved ipod

it's finally updated

the songs in it , I mean

I love it

picnic

2010-02-06T02:08:00.000-08:00

I reached at 6:30 am

I became

THE ALARM CLOCK

Was there way too early

So I called jo

then jamin

then jia huei

then delon

While waiting for everybody to come

I was trying to choose a nice and quiet spot to sit and wait

I found a dramatically cool emo spot under the streetlight

I found a shady, quiet spot (or so I thought ,initially)

so yes, I waited

and beside my quiet spot

a group of senior citizens decided to do Ti-chi

LOL

then jamin called

then I screamed

and disrupted the peace of the Ti-chi group

woops, my bad

It's nice to meet the old and familiar faces

It brings back happy times

Not that I'm not happy right now

Somehow

I feel like I'm always happy

But today, especially- blissful

we are all walking on our own separate paths

along the way

it's good to just take a break and just seat back

remeninscing the moments in life

being grateful to have lived to experinece something new everyday

then stand up and continue moving forward

it feels superb to chat with my close highschool buddy

Y.X.Y

it brings back all the happy,sillyand funny moments we shared back in highschool

yes, girl, we should meet up soon!

I want to see if I've grown any taller

(Oh, did I mention, Jia huei grew taller ! )
You're my role model ,girlfriend!

SCORPIO - The Addict

Extremely adorable.

Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Will try almost anything once. Loves to be pampered. Energetic. Predictable.

GREAT kisser.

Always get what they want.

Attractive. Loves being in long relationships.

Talkative.

Loves to party but at times to the extreme. Loves the smell and feel of money and is good at making it but just as good at spending it!

Very protective over loved ones. HARD workers.

Can be a good friend but if is disrespected by a friend, the friendship will end.

Romantic.

Caring.

Blue words-So true
Pink words-Are you sure ah?

Green words-it depends

I got this from an email

LOL

Don't wish me happiness-I don't expect to be happy it's gotten beyond that, somehow. Wish me courage and strength and a sense of humor-I will need them all.”

“When I dare to be powerful - to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid”

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.”

“Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.

Don't you just love quotes

Well, at least I do

2010-02-01T06:22:00.001-08:00

I rolled out of bed today

Because I could not wake up straight

My bones are in a wear and tear state

I can't even hold my hand to 90degree straight

Oh, I got another blue black on my left shoulder

LOL

Looks like I'll be wearing long sleeves for quite sometime

until the scares disappear

I'm dreading tommorow

I have to climb up stairs!!

Mondays and Tuesdays are not nice

Because my classes are at the third floor!

>.<

And if I'm not mistaken

Pre-U society starts tommorow

I'm having short hair

currently

I'm just going to let it grow

Because I forgotten how I look like with long hair

well, if its bad

the least I can do is snap it short again

"I can live alone, if self-respect and circumstances requires me to do so.

I need not sell my soul to buy bliss.

I have an inward treasure born within me,

which can keep me alive if all extraneous delights should be withheld,

offered only at a price I cannot afford to give."

~The gypsie' analyse of Jane's character~

2010-01-31T04:08:00.000-08:00

I went for camp

I slept in a tent for the first time

sand bed's cool

My room mates are Lili, jia jia and Yee Thoong

Nice people

Anyway

It was A jungle camp

Seriously

I have officially found out what kind of person I am

I am

A WATER PERSON

I hate grass

I never liked them actually

I hate looking down from a high place

or walking down it

DAY 1

We had some talk called NO APOLOGIEs

which I got super bored in

At night

We jungle tracked

And sorry to say

I don't like tracking through forest

I really don't

When we "walked" back down the jungle

I got so scared

I grew so silent

Like Delon said

Very unlike me

And

I shed a few silent tears out of fear

And then it said

"Hush, shame on you, it's just a freaking jungle track, continue walking and get over it"

So ya, I freaking continued

The minute We started walking in the river

A sense of relieve just overwhelmed me

And calmed me down like instantly

When I have been like an over anxious hype, silent little kitten

for the past, god knows, 1 hour ?

:)

Thanks Tze for the favour

Thanks Delon for the help

Thanks to a lot more too

eg:

Rowina, Lydia, Khai Li,Bernice,Rowina, Amanda L. Sonia......... etc...

PS:there is actually a lot of names, but em...

Due to current tiredness and laziness

I shall not name them

for now

Day 2

Let's see

more NO APOLOGIES talk

grew restless

crapped a lot

got hyper

(what can I say, it was undeniably a mind wandering session)

then we had

RIVER TROTTING

it means

we have to walk up again water current to the water fall

apparently, it was a man made river

but really

don't underestimate mother nature

1) We have to walk out of the camp base along the road to another side of the jungle

2)walk through more jungles

I like the water part

eventhough I slipped a few time

Okay, I slipped countless times

So what

Along the way

there's like rocks covered with algae blocking the path

so obviously we have to climb it

And there's also a freaking wide gape between them

And for a little girl like me

t takes a lot of effort to get myself up

There was this one huge rock that I tried to climb

even with Delon's help

I placed my foot at the wrong place and my right leg hitted that freaking rock

trust me

at that time

violent, vulgar words I tried to avoid using

just came out

Thank goodness I wore long pants

IF it were shorts

my skin would have been history

I got three blue/pink/purple-blacks on my right leg

You know

I don't quite like asking for help

Ya, tze - you told - to help me out

I don't like being helped because I feel indebt

and very much weak

That very sensation is what I hate most

So ya, Delon tried to help me

and occasionally

I would resist

I want to try on my own

:)

I finally know how it feels to walk under the rain

well, I was emoing that time

I went back early

after we reached the waterfall

after I slipt and fell flat on my back

after I injured/scar my right hand

yup

it's scratched

quite badly actually

The scratch 'burned' in the rain

So ya, I took my own sweet time to walk back to camp

alone

I'd rather suffer alone than to be seen suffering
I mean, what can other people do
They can comfort
but that only makes me feel worst
So ya, I rather stay with the fact that whatever pain I'm feeling
physically or emotionally
is not anyone elses' burden to bear
So, I'm not planing to tell you in depth about it either

I merely looked up into the rainy sky
and said
"Bring it on "
and down came the largest downpour I can ever hope for
And i love every moment of it

;)

Duties

We, the FALCONS
were on kitchen duty
We- serve

We also - have to wash up every ones dishes

While we wash

We get splashed too

LOLs

Leeches are alright

I prefer them to climbing down hill

I'm cool with them

It's a symbiotic relationship, we have

Don't call me even if I should cross your mind

I don't need to hear your voice on my messages

Let's just all it quits Its probably better

So if I'm not returning your calls its cause

Cause I'm not coming back

I'm closing the door

I used to be tripping over missing you

But I'm not anymore

Baby, because it's over

2010-01-27T06:15:00.000-08:00

Business class

So all the price of mandrian oranges are increasing in the market.

Is it your fault?

(turns to the BLONDE)

eh?

tien en said that you're a bad blonde

No!!!! I said B.A.D.

ya la, B-A-D = bad !

LOL

No !!! It stands for BLONDES ARE DUMB!

LOL (TO THE MAX)

teacher

the blonde

tien en

the class

Psychology

today we're learning about prejudice and discrimination

what's the difference?(asked Rebecca)

....................

Blonde you're next.

Anesha laughed a perculiar, ticklish laugh

We (class) laughed

Anesha stops lauughing (a few seconds)

Joanne couldn't stop laughing

Joanne, you're not having asthama right?

She laughed again

Anesha started laughing again

We laughed some more

Today has been quite a laugh-fable day

I get hyper when I'm sad
well, I guess it's better than crying
So, hyper- it is.